(s)pain and memories

 guess my tapas menu gave them luck! ok ok, i am sure it was more paul the octopus than me :)

anyway, the final is tomorrow *tear* but it just means more food! i can't believe a month has passed and all this excitement that has been building for the last couple years is almost over! i really have no idea how south africa is going to cope.... i guess we have to win the olympic bid for 2020 :)

anyway, back to the food. i stayed at my gran's yesterday after years with my brother and we felt like kids again. the only person missing was my grandfather. he passed away almost 3 years ago and we haven't really spent much time in that house since then. my brother and i decided it was getting too weird and sad so we had to break the rut we were in - avoiding the house and spending time there. after all i think it could help my gran be comfortable there again. so we stayed over there last night - watched rambo on tv and had a slumber party - chips, cream cheese dip, jam donuts and chocolate donuts, tea, cool drinks and lots of laughs with my gran. she cooked for us and we ate chicken curry at the dining room table like we did after school. it was really nostalgic... but we couldn't help but feel kinda sad. could not be denied that we still felt his presence.

lots of people say that acceptance of the death of a loved one gets easier as time passes.. i have to say that it isn't really like that for me. sure i've accepted it, but i just miss him more now.

sitting at the dining room table yesterday studying, i couldn't help but think of my grandfather's favourite spot on the table. my grandparents had a really methodical way of eating lunch and dinner. my grandma would wait for him to come home from school or wherever he went, and wait for us. as we walked in the door the table would be laid with plates, glasses, food dished out and things to drink. we'd all sit down and eat together sharing our days ups and downs, laughing, smiling, talking, sharing a meal.

i guess we'll always have the memories...